Amidst all the scandal, controversy, opportunity and even national pride in our nation hosting the Soccer World Cup in 2010 I, Khanyo Olwethu Mjamba, a black native of this land, wish to announce that I am not a soccer fan. Not in the least bit. I find absolutely no beauty in the 'beautiful game' and I get more excited watching a game of snooker than watching idiski.
I am well aware of the fact that I fall into a dangerously small minority that is diminishing even now as I write this. Perhaps that's the real reason why I feel an ever so slight discomfort in announcing myself like this - yet I feel no shame.
This, as my friends will attest, has been the case since I started watching sport. There was just something about the sport that didn't quite appeal to me no matter how hard I tried to memorize players' names and team histories. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that everytime I tried to play, I would be called 'inkomo' which, directly translated, means 'a cow' in Nguni languages and actually means that I'm sorely lacking in basic soccer skills. Or perhaps there is too little aggressive physical contact between players on the field - I've been known to be quite an advocate of contact sports like rugby and boxing (excuse the xhosa stereotype).
So now this, our beloved Republic, is to showcase to the world a sporting event on steroids and the build-up to the event involves marketing campaigns juggernauting at people's sense of patriotism and moves the populace to believe that, in this our beloved Mzansi, 'things will get better'. Which is good. For sure.
What I find entertaining, though, are the dreams that are sometimes expressed by my comrads, at amassing untold amounts of wealth by taking advantage of the Soccer World Cup through logistics, travel, tourism etc. I will give an example of Jeremiah*, a fellow citizen and ambitious dreamer who plans on being a Guest Lodge mogul after 2010 by somehow reeling in soccer lovers to his 'planned' soccer/African safari-themed lodges which would be erected countrywide just before the World Cup. Each Lodge would come standard with an 'Afrikan' curio-shop where the Big5 & Mandela memorabilia would be on sale, licensed Madiba Shirt Outfitters would be on the premises and each guest would be issued with a complimentary Vuvuzela on his or her departure, all the while the venue being a Wi-Fi hotspot. One can't help but be moved by the eloquence in these dreams of grandeur and, seemingly, forget that in 2010 and beyond, no manna will fall from the heavens where the Jordaans, Khozas & Motaungs reign supreme. No. The reality is that not much will change for the better, the problems we have now will be amplified after the Soccer spectacle and this is why:
We've had constant reminders in this, our beloved republic, that our teenage democracy has serious issues besides raging hormones and identity crises. For some reason, there are still a large number of idealists who staunchly believe that they are entitled to a portion of the wealth accumulated by some of our BEE rockstars. This, in turn, has led the trade unions to let loose upon the streets their numbers, demanding a larger slice of the pie-chart.
The kind of lucrative deals that will emerge and be secured in many different sectors of our economy - mostly, the sectors that have had the most protest actions - will fan the fires of the populace to now demand an even larger slice of the pie. Maybe they'll have the right to because the 'fatcats' of government and industry sure as hell won't remind them that it's time to go on strike again!
Why not, you ask? Because the great divide, that ghastly chasm between rich and poor will, like the rich, not become narrower, in fact to the contrary. I mean, was the birth of this new South Africa not a lucrative enough deal to demonstrate to us that the true beneficiaries of change will always be a small fraction of those who anticipate change?
Anyways, back to the soccer. With all this talk of sustainable jobs and tourism industries and infrastructure, there still remains some other concerns in my mind that even the loveliest of concertos by the largest Vuvuzela orchestra ever assembled could not soothe.
One of them is that our national soccer team has been riddled with as much confusion as our politics, the poor chaps. From a coach who earned some serious moneys to get us some credibility towards the beginning of the tournament, to a coach who barely understands himself when he speaks English - oh, and of course, the impish Benni McCarthy.
Could this kind of inconsistency be regarded as representational of our current national consciousness and readiness, despite Sepp Blater telling us that A.O.K?
Come to think of it, with all these things in mind, I must say I do find the game more interesting off the pitch, as I told a rather irritating friend of mine a few weeks ago. He then kind of inquired from me as to which sports I found entertaining and I told him. He then made a comment alluding to how I'm so colonized, watching "the white man's" sports (rugby, cricket, F1, boxing) instead of being a real patriot. He became so passionate about his monologue that he even paused the Chelsea vs Hull game he was watching! I felt like such a traitor.
So where to from here for me and my minority? Shall we wither into oblivion as we shy away from the sports bars, soccer stadia and office soccer days?
What I find entertaining, though, are the dreams that are sometimes expressed by my comrads, at amassing untold amounts of wealth by taking advantage of the Soccer World Cup through logistics, travel, tourism etc. I will give an example of Jeremiah*, a fellow citizen and ambitious dreamer who plans on being a Guest Lodge mogul after 2010 by somehow reeling in soccer lovers to his 'planned' soccer/African safari-themed lodges which would be erected countrywide just before the World Cup. Each Lodge would come standard with an 'Afrikan' curio-shop where the Big5 & Mandela memorabilia would be on sale, licensed Madiba Shirt Outfitters would be on the premises and each guest would be issued with a complimentary Vuvuzela on his or her departure, all the while the venue being a Wi-Fi hotspot. One can't help but be moved by the eloquence in these dreams of grandeur and, seemingly, forget that in 2010 and beyond, no manna will fall from the heavens where the Jordaans, Khozas & Motaungs reign supreme. No. The reality is that not much will change for the better, the problems we have now will be amplified after the Soccer spectacle and this is why:
We've had constant reminders in this, our beloved republic, that our teenage democracy has serious issues besides raging hormones and identity crises. For some reason, there are still a large number of idealists who staunchly believe that they are entitled to a portion of the wealth accumulated by some of our BEE rockstars. This, in turn, has led the trade unions to let loose upon the streets their numbers, demanding a larger slice of the pie-chart.
The kind of lucrative deals that will emerge and be secured in many different sectors of our economy - mostly, the sectors that have had the most protest actions - will fan the fires of the populace to now demand an even larger slice of the pie. Maybe they'll have the right to because the 'fatcats' of government and industry sure as hell won't remind them that it's time to go on strike again!
Why not, you ask? Because the great divide, that ghastly chasm between rich and poor will, like the rich, not become narrower, in fact to the contrary. I mean, was the birth of this new South Africa not a lucrative enough deal to demonstrate to us that the true beneficiaries of change will always be a small fraction of those who anticipate change?
Anyways, back to the soccer. With all this talk of sustainable jobs and tourism industries and infrastructure, there still remains some other concerns in my mind that even the loveliest of concertos by the largest Vuvuzela orchestra ever assembled could not soothe.
One of them is that our national soccer team has been riddled with as much confusion as our politics, the poor chaps. From a coach who earned some serious moneys to get us some credibility towards the beginning of the tournament, to a coach who barely understands himself when he speaks English - oh, and of course, the impish Benni McCarthy.
Could this kind of inconsistency be regarded as representational of our current national consciousness and readiness, despite Sepp Blater telling us that A.O.K?
Come to think of it, with all these things in mind, I must say I do find the game more interesting off the pitch, as I told a rather irritating friend of mine a few weeks ago. He then kind of inquired from me as to which sports I found entertaining and I told him. He then made a comment alluding to how I'm so colonized, watching "the white man's" sports (rugby, cricket, F1, boxing) instead of being a real patriot. He became so passionate about his monologue that he even paused the Chelsea vs Hull game he was watching! I felt like such a traitor.
So where to from here for me and my minority? Shall we wither into oblivion as we shy away from the sports bars, soccer stadia and office soccer days?
I highly doubt it. We are still patriots and we will blow our vuvuzelas at the Germans just as defiantly as the rest of Hooliga. I have a feeling, though, that a large portion of us will patiently wait for the hype to subside as we envision a post-2010 state of normality.
No matter what happens, though, you will never find my black a** anywhere close to a stadium.
*Not his real name
